Record: 2-2
FUCK. Bobby Jones is officially making me swear. He's the most worthless man on the face of the planet. He has no intrinsic value whatsoever, the only way he could serve a purpose is to be melted down into his component materials and used to insulate low income housing. Here is a short list of things Jones is suited for:
I just want to know one fucking thing. How exactly does one go about walking 4 people in one inning? In a short relief role, no less? Like, how? It can't be that difficult to throw a small sphere in a fairly generous zone extending from the hitters knees to their ribs. It just can't. Walking one person, fine. Two people, hmm. Three people, you suck. FOUR PEOPLE? WITH THE BASES FUCKING LOADED YOU CAN'T PLACE THE BALL SPECIFICALLY ENOUGH? You don't nibble the goddamn corners with the bases loaded because walking someone is the exact same thing as giving up a grand slam in that situation. YOU FUCKING RETARD JONES THIS ISN'T ROCKET SCIENCE.
This would have been easier to stomach if it'd been Timlin or Williamson. Those guys are integral parts of our bullpen who will fix a lot more situations than they will fuck up. Jones, on the other hand, is a worthless 32 year old retread pitcher who has no velocity, no control, no future in the major leagues, and no talent whatsoever. He made the team because everyone else going for the lefty specialist role sucked, except for Hamuylack who got sent to AAA because Francona was obviously extremely impressed with Jone's high 80's fastball, lack of a decent breaking pitches, and, I dunno, bling bling maybe.
To be honest, our offense should have scored more runs than 2, the rest of our bullpen was flawless, and there was quite a bit of rain happening towards the end. I don't care. Pitchers who walk 4 batters in one inning in the bottom of the 13th inning against the home team neither deserve to live happy lives nor pitch in the big leagues. My only hope is that in 20 years I am walking through Boston and I see Bobby Jones trawling for tricks next to the Charles River at 3 AM. Hopefully crying while doing so.
It's entirely too early in the season for these kinds of games. Fix the problem Red Sox, and fix it quick. I'm going to go take shots of bleach with some people until I forget this whole thing. Or die, preferably.
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