Lowe ain't so shabby either

Record: 2-1

Well not much to discuss concerning today's game. Damon got 5 hits which was crazy, he hit all of them to the opposite field off of pitchers who were too stupid to stop pitching him away though. Also he stole a base with the score 7-1, which doesn't do much for the Sox image but did wonders for my fantasy team. Damon also had a SICK catch in dead center field to take a home run away from David Segui. A few other notes:

* Bobby Jones sucks. His first pitch was a fastball grooved over the plate at 88 MPH which Larry Bigbie promptly deposited into the bleachers. Loser.

* Lowe looked sharp for being on the road, although he gave up a lot of flyball outs which indicates he might not be in form yet.

* Ortiz also looked good, laying off some close pitches to work a walk and CRUSHING a ball to left field. I'm starting to think he could duplicate last season.

Some other news that Sox fans might find vaguely interesting. The Indians and Twins (who apparently REALLY like playing baseball) were in the 15th inning last night. Twins are at home, bases loaded, and their soon to be hero walks up to the plate. Who is this imposing figure? Why, it's Jose Offerman of course! I quickly checked and saw Offerman had already doubled his previous plate appearance, so I disregarded the inning as done already, seeing how Offerman had already used up his alloted hits for the month, when lo and behold he singles up the middle.

Adjectives fail me when trying to describe just how awful Offerman was last year. A Duquette signing in every sense the man was. His signing went like this:

Dan Duquette: Let's see, we need yet another second baseman to start the season. I say we find the biggest flash in the pan we can possibly find. Whappity whap whap diggity!

Random Lackey: Hmmm...we could go with someone in the system...

Duquette: Never! I need to seem like I'm trying to fix this train wreck of a team! Toot toot toot!

Random Lackey: Dan, are you all right? You've seemed a little different ever since you fell asleep in the bathtub.

Duquette: Jose Offerman stole 45 bases in a contract year? SIX MILLION PER, GET ME HIS AGENT!!

Random Lackey: He's fine

The only thing about the Offerman signing that didn't piss me off was the fact that by the time we released him, everyone hated him so much that no one in the front office told him. He eventually learned of his fate from a reporter asking how he felt about being thrown off the team. Offerman, I kid you not, broke into tears and ran cursing from the room. Classic.

Pedro and Francona settled their differences concerning the whole "Pedro ditching the game early" incident from the Season Opener, although honestly it's a bit early for it to have been a big deal. Francona's reasoning is that because Pedro didn't feel like showing up on time to camp, he missed the sheet of paper handed out that said things like "No leaving the game early" and "Pants first, THEN shoes". I like seeing Francona cover for one of Pedro's supreme screw-ups, now Pedro owes Francona for not making his life a living hell.

P.S. Oh and if this post didn't make you laugh, check out the recap of the Mets game. Mike's sure as hell not going to mention it.

P.P.S. I don't care what he did today, Clemens is still fat.