Welcome to the worst record in baseball

Reasons to become a Mariners Fan

Don't let the title fool you, this isn't Mike. I spent an entire day getting myself pumped up for this game, including but not limited to listening to Van Halen's "Higher and Higher" and that song "Final Countdown". I watched the pre-game show which explained that the Sox are invulnerable because our front three starting pitchers are robots made of solid gold with flesh and blood draped over it to allow for time travel. All the hype in the world couldn't change some very basic facts however:

Pedro fucking sucked. SUCKED. There's no nice way to say it. He hit above 90 MPH maybe three times (can't tell because NESN decided to pay Don Orsillos salary for the next five years rather than to buy a radar gun) and might have done better if 5 balls suddenly equaled a walk instead of 4. Doubtful though. He only gave up 2 ER, but of course the unearned run was off his own horribly misthrown ball. I think the only way to truly express how much Pedro sucked is to simply bash my head into the keyboard. Hold on. jui8kuji8kk. There. I feel better now. Oh and I could have hit a home run off that ball Pedro served up, never mind Javy Lopez.

Want to see three honest to goodness earned runs? Look no further than Mike Timlin. I have nothing more to say

14 runners left on base and two run-allowing errors are a greeeeat start for Terry Francona. Granted he wasn't batting or fielding, but I still hate him for this. Just like I hate everything right now.

That's about all I got. I had planned on writing a good entry, but, eh.