The Plate Discipline of a Marital Spat

Expos 2, Mets 1
Record: 6-7

I was listening to Michael Kay's radio show a few days ago when he had Al Leiter on. They chatted mostly about Al's hitting, as he'd recently slugged a double into right-center against the Braves, rousing Andruw Jones from a trance via which he was receiving Lucifer's latest command. Kay asked our man why he was usually such a terrible batter, since he's obviously a great athlete, prompting Al to remark that a lot of pitchers just aren't very good athletes. He dropped a line about a former teammate of his (Matt Franco, maybe?) who used to mock him by wrapping a cutter grip around a baseball and muttering, "Thank you, God" over and over, obviously implying that it's all Al's got. Leiter went on to complain about the complexity of running the bases, saying he enjoyed getting the rare hit, but it was really too much trouble to deal with all the different situations out on the basepaths and that he'd prefer to just take his hacks and focus on his pitching. There is one feat with the bat that he'd still like to accomplish, however: hitting a homer. He said he dreams about it.

He should have no trouble visualizing baseballs sailing out of the park tonight, as his primary reliever David Weathers served one up to Jose Vidro, ruining Leiter's seven-inning, one-run outing and breaking a 1-1 tie.

Is "reliever" a misnomer for these guys, or what? I'm of a mind to call them all closers, as they've got a remarkable ability to shut the door on any chance of our starters earning a victory.

Leiter went deep into the game, working with uncharacteristic economy at a 15 pitch/inning clip. His 0.52 ERA is impressive despite two starts againt the hapless 'Spos. It's our offense that's troubling me now, as I sink back into my chair after watching Eric "Mr. Clutch" Valent whiff looking on three called strikes from Rocky Biddle. Rocky Biddle, folks. The man is shakier than a faultline and our bottom of the 9th trio of Piazza, Cameron, and the aforementioned superhero only squeezed six pitches out of him. I'm a fan of the Expos young pitching, and while Zach Day looked good today he was certainly aided by Matsui, Cameron, and particularly Wigginton swinging often and early. You can't blame this slump on an injury-depleted roster; I think a lack of patience is the problem lately.

If our "closers" keep doing their "jobs" so admirably, I just might experience a sudden lack of patience myself.