Damn and tarnation

I came into this week with a choice. Be a vaguely normal human being, and wake up and sleep at normal times, making sure baseball does not become an unhealthily large aspect of my life. Or, be a gigantic nerd and wake up at 5 the past two days, getting a grand total of 4 hours of sleep since Monday morning. Having said that, here's the recaps of both games before I go collapse into bed and attempt to die for the next 8 hours.

Game 1

Derek Jeter's obviously not used to the leadoff position, as he not only went 0-5, he also looked horribly uncomfortable doing it, as if Mike Piazza had been visiting the clubhouse, squeezed his ass, and then said "Go get 'em tiger, I'll be waiting for you after you're done" right before he went up to bat.

A-Rod struck out looking twice, no one cared. A-Rod then doubles for his first official hit as a Yankee. The Comissioner of baseball (not A-Rod or anyone) decides "My God! We must save this ball for posterity! Who knows how many more people A-Rod's first Yankees-hit ball will bring to the baseball hall of fame!" Have I ever mentioned hating the Yankees on this page? Because I do.

A bunch of crap happens, Mike Mussina proves yet again that the reason he doesn't win 20 games isn't bad luck, he's just not very good anymore, several Yanks get hurt (Quantrill possibly seriously), and the Devil Rays beat the Yankees 8-3. This marks the first and only time in the history of mankind the Devil Rays will have sole possession of first place in the AL East.

Game 2

I actually woke up at 5 AM to watch this game, hoping the Yanks would begin the season 0-2. Let's just say Kevin Brown looked good and I was back asleep by 5:30.

Now for some Sox news. Ugh.

Nomar's on the DL to start the season. And he's out for a "minimum" of three weeks. So that leaves Nixon AND Nomar with early-May return dates. Also this gives Pokey Reese the starting shortstop job (eh) Mark Bellhorn the starting 2B job (ugh) and David Ortiz the cleanup spot (help us). Someone pencil the Sox in for a 9-19 April, all right?

I heard an ugly rumor that Derek Lowe was shooting his mouth off AGAIN and whining, bitching, and generally complaining about his contract situation. I decided to check out this unfounded rumor myself and read the Globe Article.

Lowe said yesterday "it's a hundred percent clear" the Red Sox will not sign him before Opening Day. Citing what he described as an unacceptable contract offer he received two weeks ago, the righthander also indicated that it's unlikely the Sox will sign him before the end of the season

"Hmmm", I said, quickly scanning the rest of the story. "Surely that's not Lowe, the same guy who in 2002 acknowledged that he bore the fans who booed him in 2001 no ill will, because he completely deserved it? Surely this whiny brat isn't D-Lowe!"

"From a positive side, they've made it easy," Lowe said. "They offered me less than what they did last year, so it wasn't a hard decision to make."

He described last year's offer as "a low number and the wrong way."

Obviously Lowe is aware that there's a process called "negotiation" whereby neither side offers the highest amount they are willing to take or pay right away. This must simply be a misconstrued quote

"It's frustrating, but then again I'm over it because they made it so easy," he said. "It wasn't like it was a decision where you had to sit down and think about it for more than a second. Now you just go out and play the game because I think if somebody wants you, they're going to put out an effort, an honest effort."

Poppycock! That sounds like Gary Sheffield, not our beloved good natured Derek! Whoever got these "quotes" is obviously some kind of dischord-spreading monster!

"I've expressed a desire to play here and stay here, but unfortunately in some instances they hold it against you, so all you can do is keep playing," he said. "I don't hold grudges. I don't get mad at any situation.

"You're eventually going to go where you're wanted, and I think that's the biggest thing. You have a contract through the year with this ball club and you're going to do everything you can do to pitch well. But you're going to go where people want you."

Goddammit, no one would have the balls to make up quotes like these. This is actually Derek Lowe talking, isn't it? Man, what a diva

"All indications are that we may not talk until the end of the year," he said. "That's the feeling I get."

You've got a feeling about baloney, asshole.


Screw Derek Lowe. 30 years old with absolutely no ability to strike guys out, with one good relief and one good starting season under his belt, combined with a LOT of mediocre-bad seasons. I'm not usually the kind to let one bad interview sour me on a player, but any leftover affection I had for Lowe due to his 2002 season is gone. Cut Fatso loose.

Oh and Pedro got shellacked. Again. I hear tennis is a very relaxing sport to follow...