Mets Game Recap (ST) 3/28

Orioles 7, Mets 3

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Fran Healy Talks!

During the pregame portion of this lovely contest, Art Howe was interviewed and revealed that his major area of concern was the defense. He offered a completely valid excuse for his hapless squad, saying that many teams have problems in Spring Training because the quality of the fields is not up to par. Laughing at that pretext served as my introduction to this latest mockery of the game and quickly turned to sobbing when the defense performed its best impression of last year’s.

Before I get started jotting down some thoughts, I’ll offer an excuse of my own for the team’s poor play: It must have been nearly impossible to maintain what precious little focus they had while playing behind Steve Trachsel. Watching him pitch with runners on base is a more agonizingly protracted task than setting a pot of water on the sidewalk and watching it until global warming brings it to a boil.

Kaz Matsui, proud bearer of an increasingly shaggy rust-colored mullet, was completely shut down today by Rodrigo Lopez. The fans were so excited to see him make contact late in the game that they cheered his final groundout more loudly than most Met hits. I’m very worried about his ability to adjust to American pitching and mores governing haircut regularity.

Ty Wigginton was his usual sturdy self. Kaz picked up a grounder and chucked it for a tag play at third, a good throw sliced in neatly between the runner and the bag. Ty just missed it. If the Mets were a recreational softball team, Mike Cameron would’ve flipped and started cursing him out until Cliff Floyd reminded everyone, "Guys, it’s just a goddamn game. Christ. Shut up, man."

Piazza had an awful day. He made a couple of throws on basestealing attempts that were surprisingly aimed in the general vicinity of second base, yet had less zip on them than a pair of button-fly jeans. To compensate he launched a throw well over the second baseman’s head in a bid to stop one of the Birds from taking an extra base. Luckily Mike Cameron was right there, or we would’ve been treated to another shot of Piazza faintly grimacing yet trying to pretend no one is watching him suck it up.

Fran Healy certainly didn’t help to make the game palatable. I’d like to say he was in rare form, but sadly that’s not the case. Here are a few of his less lengthy ramblings:

"Joe McEwing is now the backup centerfielder for the Mets. That really just increases his value for the team."

"The first park where fans paid to get in and watch was in Flushing. The name of the team was the NY Knickerbockers. I could be wrong. But that would be a good story."

"Andruw Jones is so relaxed because he comes from that island." -- followed by inexplicable giggling

"...and the players will tell you, no one wore a uniform better than Lee Mazilli." -- delivered matter-of-factly into the silence after a video of an earlier interview with Mazilli was shown.