Coming in a strong second

Forgive the lack of updates lately, I spent a large portion of this weekend in a drunken stupor. Seeing Metropolitan's latest update, along with the info from our site traffic monitor, something has become painfully clear.

90% of the people coming to this site for the first time are getting sent by links from other Mets blogs. There is very little concrete evidence to indicate that any Sox fans PERIOD read this site. Heck, I'm not even getting E-Mails from the Prime Minister of Nigeria anymore, Lord Mbutu or whatever his name is must be a Mets fan as well.

Now, I've asked just as many blogs for links as Mike has, I've listed this site as a Sox blog everywhere it's also been listed as a Met's blog, and nothin'. Nada. I can only asssume one of two things:

A) Red Sox Nation, much like The Rest of The Nation, fails to find me either witty or charming
B) Red Sox fans, being from New England, are deeply jaded against and mistrustful of the Internet.

I'm not going to hazard a guess as to which it is, mostly because the likely answer will make me cry like a little girl. However, even though no one reading the sites I'm about to mention appears inclined to follow their links to our humble Blogtropolis, I'd still like to take a moment and blatantly steal Mike's idea for staving off a real update for a few days and mention some of the Blogs and Sox sites I enjoy.
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Sons of Sam Horn (Link to the Right, I'm too lazy to link it again. Oh all right, fine, here)

Easily the most die hard, well informed, and popular Sox fan site out there. John W. Henry and Curt Schilling are both regular posters, and the ability to say things like "VORP" and "WinShares" without giggling is required for membership. (Along with an invite from a current member to keep the community free of fluff posters. Believe me, those invites are hard to come by, my weak, pitiful pleas for membership have been fruitless thus far)

Any breaking news, leaks, or signings will almost certainly be posted here first. I call them "insane" over there not in a derisive way, but because this site is honestly more cutting edge than any professional site out there, you don't exactly see the Sox owner posting things on BostonDirtDogs, do you?

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Portland Sox Fan

This guy is great, he's been suffering from the same problem as all Sox sites lately (i.e. absolutely nothing new to write about) but he has a simple, no nonsense approach to blogging that I enjoy reading. Not a whole lot of humor, but he gets in his little zingers. A personal fave of mine is his drunken post right after Game 7 of the AlCS, where he explains that he had to take a 6 mile walk immediately afterwards.

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Obey Pedro

Another great all-around site, his claim to fame is those unbelievably creepy disembodied heads that float at the top of his page. Sure they give me nightmares, but nightmares are better than those dreams I keep having about my life 10 years from now. I prefer waking up screaming to sobbing, let's put it that way.

I do have to apologize to The Sheriff for unknowingly stealing his "Hola Amigos, been a long time" Jim Anchower schtick a few posts ago, that was a little embarassing. Not embarassing enough to overcome my laziness enough to get rid of it, but it still made me blush a lil'

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Fret not, boys and (Girl? Do any girls read this site? Somehow I doubt it) There is SOME real news to report.

Firstly, as I was writing this post, Mike sent me some of the best news I've seen all offseason. How's about that Karma stuff, eh Boonie? Let's go over all the reasons this is awesome.

Firstly, the guy the Yankees gave up their best prospect (Brandon Claussen) for is now officially useless to them for another entire season. Notice I say "another" season, because he was abysmal for the Yankees after coming over from the Reds, hitting .254 with 6 homers and 8 stolen bases in 54 regular season games. (Oh you clever Yankees fans, asking me how he did in the postseason. Ha ha ha ha ha FUCK YOU). So far this trade is looking worse and worse all the time for the Yankees. Apparently they'll try to get some or all of their money back for this contract. I'm sure the MLBPA will be thrilled with that course of action. And even if they win and get the money back, the Yanks have a bigger problem. Guess who the other options for third base are? Drew Henson, or kidnapping a homeless crack addict and handing him a uni and bat. It's really a coin toss as to which one will be more successful, I'd give the slight nod to Henson, unless the homeless guy has a "hot taters and biscuits" performance clause in his contract.

As fun as it is to revel in the further detoriation of the vaunted Yankees Mystique this offseason, how about some actual Red Sox news?

Well, A-Rod got named team captain of the Rangers. That should finally, FINALLY put to rest this monstrous "deal" that was threatening to become reanimated. I might question the logic of making a man who publicly begged to be gotten out of Texas and has shown no leadership skills whatsoever captain, but then again I'm obviously far less intelligent than Tom Hicks. I certainly wouldn't have listened to A-Rod's overtures to sign Chan Ho Park. Can you imagine how silly I'd look now for not signing him now?

Before I start sounding too smug about my beloved team, now would probably be a good time to mention our latest signing. Because in a former life I obviously was a puppy kicker or something, the Sox have officially signed Tony Womack

Why? WHY? Seriously, signings like this aren't funny. Tony Womack SUCKS, dammit. Every single person in the world knows that. I just don't get it, in some large, expensive room, a man who makes more money than I'll see in my lifetime started a conversation that can only have gone something like this

Man: I have a great idea
Other Man: Better than your idea to sign Terry Schumpert?
Man: Oh yeah, this blows that out of the water. Get this, we sign.....
Other man: (drooling, literally on the edge of his seat): Yes? YES???
Man: Tony Womack!
Other Man: Isn't he the guy the Diamondbacks had?
Man: Yeah!
Other Man: Doesn't he have a career OPS of .674?
Man: Yeah!
Other Man: Isn't he 34 years old?
Man: Yep!
Other Man: Didn't he steal 13 bases for the entire season last year, get traded twice, and end the year by having Tommy John surgery?
Man: Yes, yes, and yes! Brilliant Idea, huh?
Theo Epstein: Here is a contract and a bucket full of African diamonds, I want you to make this happen!

Seriously, just shoot me now. One game with Tony Womack at shortstop is yet another lost chance to prove that people in wheelchairs with brain damage can outperform some current major leaguers.

Nothing else to report, but let me assure you that as SOON as we announce that we traded Nomar to the Mets for Mike Bascik, making room for Womack and completing our grand offseason coup, I will be here to complain about it.