When you wish Wilpon a star

While Kyle continues to dig under couch cushions in search of ways he can rip his awesome team, I’ve done my part by searching for reasons to bash Mets ownership for letting Guerrero go. This time, however, I think the Wilpons followed the sage advice of the Spike Lee joint (which, incidentally, they have never, ever seen – say word, Jeff) and did the right thing. They made a very good offer which in all likelihood Vlad would never have accepted, and while the attempt got our hopes up, the letdown was tempered by the knowledge that they would conditionally loosen their purse strings. So kudos to Duke, Fred, Jeff, and whatever ridiculous committee of really old current Mets had a vote on this one. Consider my confidence in the plan bolstered.

...but still, Anaheim? The Angels? I’m mystified. He has to pass the physical, though, and that’s no cakewalk. If I were their owner, I’d only sign Vlad if he can do pushups while Bartolo Colon sits on him and the scrappy David Eckstein bangs ThunderStix together and dances a jig down his spinal column. It’s a good thing that team doesn’t have any other significant injury-related questions coming into 2004, too. Best of luck, Angels.

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With Roger Clemens ditching retirement faster than the Red Sox got rid of Pokey Reese the first time they acquired him, it’s shaping up to be a rough week for baseball in New York. Thank goodness we’ve got the first clash in the “Battle of Two Matsuis” to take our minds off the fact that no one outside of Japan wants to play in the city. Combatants, ready yourselves! Which Matsui had the courage and willpower to take the MOST HONORABLE PICTURE IN TIMES SQUARE HOLDING A BAT AT ARM'S LENGTH WHILE GRINNING AWKWARDLY AT A HOOKER OFF-CAMERA?

Did Hideki triumph? Or was it Kaz?

Always remember: Forgiving the unrepentant is like drawing pictures on water.