We're in trouble

Oh, go read a Bible. The Sox will always make me swear, you'd have more luck hanging out at a WNBA game and patiently waiting for someone to actually be able to do a slam dunk. Sorry girls, someone had to say it.

Since it seems like the major team wheelings and dealings are done in my division, I think I'd better make my fearless predictions.

(Assuming the O's get I-Rod)

1. Yankees
2. Red Sox
3. Toronto
4. Baltimore
5. Tampa Bay

Pretty gutsy predictions, huh? Sure, this is the same way things have turned out since 1998, but, well, all right fine it's not gutsy. Happy?

Baltimore is sooooo much better now. Unfortunately for them, so are the Sox, Yankees, and Blue Jays. I honestly feel the AL East is going to become the new AL west. Even a .500 record won't guarantee third place. Put it this way, here was every team's weakness last season:

Yankees: Bullpen and Rotation
Solution: Tom Gordon, Javier Vasquez, Kevin Brown

Red Sox: Closer, rotation
Solution: Curt Schilling, Keith Foulke

Blue Jays: Pitching
Solution: Miguel Batista, Ted Lily, Bruce Chen (haha, just kidding! Good luck with him, guys!)

Baltimore: Starting Pitching, offense
Solutions: Signing fatso (Ponson) again, every decent hitting FA in the world

Sidney Ponson and his 1 winning season, lousy career strikeout totals, and bad injury history ain't going to be enough to kick Baltimore up into third, and the only way they'll get second place is if Boston and New York are swallowed up by the angry sea.

I do think the Orioles have gone in the right direction so far. Last year they were 10th in the AL with 743 runs scored. Their offensive problems have been solved by signing Tejada, Lopez, and Palmeiro.

So, why the hell are they still signing position players? News Flash guys: Lopez AND Pudge are not neccessary. Personally, I'd have gone hard for Pudge and considered Lopez a desperate last resort, leaving 8-10 million a year for, you know, someone who can pitch. Baltimore's pitching situation was just as bleak, they came in tenth in the AL for ERA too. Their entire offseason's worth of pitching signings?

MIKE DEJEAN

Not gonna cut it, my crabcake consuming compadres. The Orioles don't move out of fourth place until they get a stud starting pitcher. End of story.

Of course, having said that, the Jays and O's are probably still going to combine to take away 8-10 cheap wins that we've been taking for granted every year. This is compounded by my fear that even 95 wins isn't going to win the Wild Card this year, not with the Angels bulking up. So 95 wins is going to be both much tougher to attain and far less valuable than it was.

What does that mean? Here's a real prediction: The Red Sox either win the division, or don't go to the playoffs. Simple as that. I can only hope the Yankees, which are better than they were last year (on paper) get hit by the injuries they are begging for (Tony Clark, Kevin Brown, Flash) and stumble badly. They're really old and have 4 DH candidates, so maybe we'll get lucky.