Eskimo Up!!!

Rather than respond to my cohort's latest thinly veiled attempts at slander, I'm going to be the bigger man and focus on more important issues.

I am, of course, speaking of our glorious coup against the hated Yankees, stealing their minor league catcher Michel Hernandez. For the Yankees AAA minor league team Columbus, Hernandez hit .280 with 14 doubles, 4 homers, and 30 RBI in 89 games. He also had a .379 on-base percentage. Wow, what a steal for us, huh?

Just a few caveats. His career stats include a .257 BA, 11 HR, .327 SLG %, and a career OPS of .645. Ladies and gentlemen, that would embarass Greg Vaughn.

Well, he slugged .372 last year, so he's on the way up at least! Hmm, a slugging % lower than his on-base percentage though? Well, at least he's consistently been doing this, right? Oh, no, wait, he totally sucked until 2002. Oh, and he's injury prone. And he's "25", which really should probably be multiplied by 1.3 because those are Cuban years. Well, at least we don't already have an extremely patient hitter with almost no power, right? Ohhhh wait, that Youkilis guy. Well dammit, someone in the organization better have a good explanation for this.

Ah, a Boston Globe article detailing the transaction! This'll be calming.

Hernandez, a 25-year-old Cuban defector, will fill a need by providing the Sox a third catcher in spring training who has experience working with big league pitchers. Ben Cherington, the team's director of player development, said Hernandez will give the Sox insurance during the exhibition season in case of injuries to Jason Varitek or Doug Mirabelli.

"We feel like we need six catchers in the major league camp, and we only had five," Cherington said. "And no one had big league experience other than Jason and Doug."

Oh sweet! So that's why we picked him up, because 5 catchers in either AAA or the big club simply isn't enough. And of course for his EXTENSIVE major league experience (5 games, 4 ABs, one hit)

All right so wait a sec, it's just a waiver claim, right? Those almost never pan out anyways. I have only one overwhelming problem with it. Waiver claims we make aways kill us. Most guys you scrounge up in another team's dumpster, they never see the light of an MLB stadium and don't really hurt you. Sox waiver claims seem to be quasi-cursed.

Some recent Sox waiver claims include Tony Clark, Brandon Lyon, Jason Sheil, and Ricardo Rodriguez. Rodriguez was thankfully jettisoned into the vacuum of space/the independant leagues before he ever got up to us. Brandon Lyon blew three crucial leads for us in the regular season and ever since was useless to us. Jason Sheil ended his extended major league call up with a 7 ERA. Tony Clark gave me diabetes. The list goes on and on. Every single waiver claim we make ends up damaging the team far more than it should ever be able to, I tell you.

I have nothing but the utmost respect for the people currently running this team, they haven't let me down yet. But seriously, this guy was a useless pickup. I can only pray he won't survive spring training with us, we have FOUR major league ready catchers (Varitek, Mirabelli, Schoppach, Andre Dominique) Theo's just showing off by getting another high on base guy. Well woo hoo for you Theo, and in case you didn't notice, Rickey Henderson had better overall stats last year than this kid.

Does this argument make sense? Of course not. Should this posting exist? Almost certainly no. But I want to go on record saying that I was against this latest waiver-wire pickup from day one, and when Hernandez lines into a triple play to cost us the division title and a playoff spot at the end of September, well, I told you all so.

The only cool thing about this whole trade is that the Yankees now seem bereft of catching talent in their minor league system (AND their major league one ahhahah ZING!). Anyways, good luck Hernandez, maybe you can tell us how to hit a Mike Mussina knuckle-curve.

If you're wondering about title, during the Pat's recent 17-14 win over the Titans I saw more than a few New England wits holding up signs saying that. Those signs might also explain the slightly unfocused nature of this posting as I was forced to immediately wash out my brain with carbolic acid after seeing them.